Mary Oliver’s poem “The Journey” has long been one of my favorites in her beautiful and bountiful body of work. Like all good writing, it has meant different things to me each time I’ve returned to it, depending, of course, on the condition of my life and my heart each time.
We often refer to life as a journey or a relationship as a journey, and it’s an accurate descriptor. Life and relationships don’t remain the same. We move along, day by day, moment by moment, even when we’d like time to stand still. Some days the journey is filled with joy and beauty and on other days we encounter the difficulties that make the journey hard to travel. In Oliver’s poem, she notes, among other things, how the expectations of others can make the path before us, in both life and relationships, difficult to traverse.
It’s helpful to remember that the expectations others have of us are their expectations. We don’t have to own them, affirm them, or live up to them. Often, there are reasonable expectations we have of one another: that we will keep our word, that we will show up when we say we will, that we will not knowingly inflict harm on one another. But we know that sometimes, in spite of the best efforts on all sides, we will find ourselves hurt or we will unwittingly hurt others.
In a community where our relationships are based on our shared belief in God, the complexities of the journey are just as complicated as they are anywhere else. But the difference is, that we have the same mind as was in Christ, a servant’s mind.
Sometimes, in community, as in Mary Oliver’s poem, we will cry out to one another in ways that are untenable, in ways that are impossible to respond to. Like the voice crying out: “Mend my Life!” it is neither our task nor within our capacity to do so. But this is the difference in Christian community: we CAN sit with one another when we are in places of pain or hurt or anger or confusion. We CAN respond with compassion and tenderness.
And if we are the ones who need to cry out…if we are the ones who are hurt or confused or angry….it is helpful to trust that God is always there to hear our cries. God can receive our sorrows and our anger and our fears. God is big enough to handle it all, for certain, but more than that…we are God’s beloved children and it is in God’s very nature to receive the state of our hearts, just as they are.
Beloved community, no matter what you are going through, what you are feeling, or what emotions you are holding, I encourage you to bring them to God, who is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
Pastor Julie +