Wrestling with God

Growing up, I terrorized my siblings because I loved to wrestle and rough house with them. While my brother was playing video games in the basement I would jump off of the staircase and attack him, initiating a wrestling match. He would usually push me off and tell me to go away in an annoyed tone. Since he was older, I would usually listen and go find something else to do. But when my little sister came into the picture, I had a new target for my wrestling matches. She was not wise enough to tell me to go away and I still have a scar on one of my shoulders from when she bit during one of our wrestling matches. My siblings will still tell you to this day how much I loved to wrestle with them and how much they really did not enjoy it.
If my parents heard us wrestling or even saw me scheming my next attack, they would end it right away. They did not want us fighting with each other or being violent, so my wrestling activities were generally thwarted rather early by my parents.
I think its safe to assume that most parents don’t want their middle child jumping off of the staircase to attack their older brother or beating up on their little sister so much that she bites them in the shoulder. Okay, I can get on board with that now, as a mature adult, but back then wrestling was so fun to me! I was working energy out of my body or attempting to resolve conflict with my siblings. But generally, we view wrestling or fighting or rough housing as something violent and something we should not really engage in. Wrestling should remain a sport for athletes but beyond that we have better means to resolve our conflicts like using our words.
But, in our Genesis story this morning we read about Jacob wrestling all night with God. Jacob didn’t jump off the staircase and attack God when God wasn’t looking rather God initiated this wrestling! Now, if I can’t wrestle with my siblings, I surely know that God is off limits, right?? But, is God off limits from our wrestling? Wrestling can be painful and tiring and uncomfortable and sometimes people get hurt during the struggle. This doesn’t necessarily seem like something we want to engage God in and yet God initiated this wrestling with Jacob. God wrestles with Jacob all night long! Until, finally, God says, okay that’s enough. The day is coming, and it is time for us to be done. But Jacob did not want this wrestling match to end until he knew exactly who he was wrestling with. After their physical wrestling match God and Jacob start to wrestle with their words as Jacob begs this person to reveal themselves and God refuses.
I wish I had known this story when I was little so that I could tell my parents that God invites us to wrestle! Even God wrestles from time to time! Wrestling may seem like an activity that is off limits, but God invites us to wrestle. Our relationship with God is like a wrestling match and God welcomes that struggle.
Maybe we wrestle with God over a hard health diagnosis. We want to wrestle all night long until it changes, or we understand why it happened. Or maybe we wrestle with God about the way our world looks and the poverty that surrounds us. We want to wrestle until poverty is no longer a reality and all of God’s children are cared for. Maybe we wrestle with scripture and fight to make the words or story on the page make sense. Maybe we wrestle with our own faith and struggle to continue the wrestling match just calling it quits all together.
Friends, it is no secret that we wrestle and struggle with different realities of God, our faith, and scripture. It is natural to wrestle with these concepts and question them at times but that can also feel really uncomfortable. There are times when the church or the people at church make us feel like we shouldn’t be wrestling with our faith and that we should have it all figured out. There are times when we feel guilty for wrestling with God because God is Divine and Holy and how dare we wrestle with that. There are times when we feel so let down by scripture that we want to rip it up and end the wrestling match and that feels hopeless to turn our back on the inspired word of God. We are told not to wrestle. We are told to have it figured out. We are told to keep the faith.
But I am here to tell you that God invites us to wrestle. There are times in our life that require us to just duke it out with God. To scream and kick and be angry. God invites your wrestling matches. And God is not off limits from your wrestling matches because God is big enough to handle it.
Even as I say this it still may be uncomfortable to think, yes, I am going to go wrestle with God. I am going to duke it out with the Divine. Even as I say this there is still something inside of me that says I shouldn’t wrestle with God and I shouldn’t be telling you all to do so either, but this isn’t the only place that scripture invites us to wrestle.
Our gospel text starts by telling us what the parable is about, “Jesus told the disciples a parable on the necessity of praying always and not losing heart”. Jeez, wouldn’t that be nice if every parable began with a short explanation! But I am going to venture to change this explanation and say, “Jesus told the disciples a parable on the necessity of persisting and wrestling with unjust systems.” This widow keeps showing up to the judge seeking legal protections from her opponent. For a while the judge wouldn’t listen to the widow or allow her protections but this widow showed up day after day. Asking the same question of the judge. Not backing down or relenting but nevertheless, she persisted. She continues to wrestle with the legal system and this judge hoping for a different outcome.
I am sure this was not easy for this widow to continually show up day after day to ask this judge for protection. She was putting her status on the line, and widows in that day didn’t have much status to begin with, and she was becoming known as that annoying woman. This was not easy work and yet she showed up to face the judge and engage in this wrestling match for justice. She put a lot on the line and risked a lot to show up and face this judge.
Jacob also risked a lot in wrestling with God all night long. He had more travelling to do the next morning and a whole family to take care of and yet he engaged in the wrestling match. Continually showing up to wrestle and fight is tiring. It is uncomfortable and it takes risk. Yet, we read about two people in our scriptures who engage that risk and wrestle.
Neither of these people walked away from their wrestling matches the same. The widow walks away with legal protections but just imagine what the town gossip was like. Persistent women rarely get good press. And then there is Jacob who had his hip dislocated by God and walks away limping. Jacob may have had that limp the rest of his life. So, when we engage in these wrestling matches with God, faith, scripture, or life we may just walk away limping. We may walk away with others whispering things about us. This limp and reputation may last a lifetime. We come out of these wrestling matches with a few wounds or maybe they have already turned into scars on our shoulders that we can say, “this wrestling match left this scar.”
But the grace in all of this is that God invites us to wrestle. God invites us to meet them face to face and duke it out with the Divine. God doesn’t call us foolish for wrestling with scripture or tell us to stop questioning faith rather God invites it! God invites us to into this holy wrestling match knowing that it might result in some limping and wounds but also knowing that it is in that wrestling match that we are blessed by the Divine.
We won’t be the same after these wrestling matches. We may have a new limp or scar but there is healing in the wrestling. Wrestling with the Divine tends to be a life-altering struggle- Jacob becomes Israel and has a limp. The widow becomes a protected woman. You and I become deeper and wiser in faith because we were not scared to face God and wrestle. It is in those holy moments when we are screaming and yelling at God that God blesses us and calls us a beloved child. Not foolish or hardheaded but simply one of Gods own. So, do not fear the struggle or the wrestling match but welcome it, knowing that you will be transformed. Thanks be to God, amen.