Have you ever had an experience that you had a hard time explaining to someone who wasn’t there to witness or experience it for themselves? As someone that struggles to tell stories that aren’t too convoluted, this is a frequent problem for me, but there are some experiences where this is particularly true. One such example for me was when I had to relearn how to do certain tasks after a particularly bad concussion. For example, one night I was sitting at the dinner table with my family when my sister noticed that I couldn’t remember how to hold a fork. As my older sister, she used the opportunity to make fun of me, but it was actually really difficult for me. Because holding a fork was something that was taught to me as a child and after a certain age I never really thought about it again, but I just couldn’t remember how to do it and my family was having a hard time understanding how I just didn’t remember. But no matter how I held it, that fork felt wrong in my hand. I knew the information was still in my brain somewhere, that I had been taught how to do this, but my brain just couldn’t make sense of it.
While this is obviously a very different experience from what the disciples witness at Jesus’ ascension. It’s still the same kind of thing where they had this very real experience that probably felt wrong to them based on their understanding of the world, and there is no way for them to really describe this to others without those people having the same experience. I mean, how do you explain that one minute Jesus was there talking with you and the next he ascended to heaven (which I always imagine as similar to being beamed up, like in all those sci-fi movies) and two angels are suddenly there then too trying to explain it all. No wonder the disciples spend so much time just looking up at the sky after Jesus’ ascension!
“’You Galileans—why are you standing here looking up at the skies?’ they asked. ‘Jesus, who has been taken from you—this same Jesus will return, in the same way you have watched him go into heaven’” (Acts 1: 11). This part especially reminds me of my experience trying to explain to my family what happened. Because like how they still remembered how to use a fork, these angels knew what was happening and didn’t seem to understand how the disciples were still confused, especially after all of Jesus’ teachings while here on earth. These angels are trying to help the disciples make sense of their situation, but I don’t really know if it is helping that much…
The question was asked at Seekers this week how we would respond if we witnessed this and I joked that I would want to ask Jesus what he put in the wine because I imagine that the disciples thought they hallucinated the whole thing. Although, maybe they were getting used to the scientifically unexpected after Jesus’ resurrection, but I imagine that it never became a comfortable thing for the disciples to think about. I mean, how many times did Jesus do something that the disciples and those around them couldn’t just explain away. By this point, they probably had a lot of stories that they felt would be difficult to share because it would be hard for others to believe them without having been there to see it for themselves.
And, today we get this story in Acts coupled with the Gospel from John, in which Jesus is praying for his disciples. It’s like watching a play when the audience received valuable information about what is happening, in this case Jesus’ prayer before his crucifixion, while the other characters (or the disciples) do not really know what is happening in Acts. Even though Acts is credited with being written as essentially the second part of the Gospel of Luke, it fits in so nicely with these John readings in Easter because you get the disciples trying to make sense of and live out the reality of what it means when Jesus kept repeating over and over in John “I am.”
Now the reading from John is an interesting one today because it is telling us the final activities of Jesus before he is arrested. And, even though he knows that he is about to be arrested, this last act of his is to pray. To acknowledge that he knows it is time for his death and to pray for the protection and well-being of his disciples. Admittedly, his prayer is a lot narrower than I would have expected for someone who was coming into the world for the sake of the whole world, but that’s a discussion for a different time.
Yet, one thing I do find interesting is when Jesus says, “I entrusted to them the message you entrusted to me, and they have received it. They know that I really came from you; they believe it was you who sent me” (John 17: 8). Especially when we read this in conjunction with Acts, it feels hard for me to believe that the disciples really received this information and believed, even still. How many times have we seen the disciples be confused by things Jesus was saying and doing, not just before, but also after his resurrection? And, how many times did we see the disciples locked away with each other instead of going out into the world as Jesus was sending them? Now, I don’t want to be too harsh of a judge of the disciples because I don’t know that I would have acted any differently, but the language of Jesus trips me up today because it doesn’t feel fully accurate. However, Jesus being who he is, I think can sense that even when the disciples have a hard time intellectually understanding all of his “I am” statements and what they mean, I think that it has become engrained in their hearts. After all, they hear “I am” 14 different times in John; it would be pretty hard to forget that I think.
So what are we left with on this Ascension Sunday? Well, for starters we are left to prepare for Pentecost next week, as the Ascension is the precipitating factor for the sending of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost! But, I also think about what the ascension means for us, and it is a sending out of its own, or at least a preparation for the sending out. A reminder that Christ is not staying in this world and that it is up to the disciples to continue his work. And that even if they have a hard time remembering how to live this mission out, there will be guidance along the way. It’s like when I couldn’t remember how to use a fork, and I needed help from my family to relearn. This is what Jesus is doing to the disciples today. They may not know what exactly is happening or when Jesus is coming back, but they do know that they are sent out into the world and will be receiving a helper on the way. May we open ourselves up to hear the one who is guiding us this day and always, especially in the midst of our questions and confusion, as we are left to ponder what all of this means for us.