You know, I was really hoping that I would have at least a year as a pastor before I started having to preach on the same Scripture passage multiple times, but surprisingly this is already my third time preaching on this “Doubting Thomas” story. This is because this day is jokingly referred to as “intern Sunday” in the church because most pastors take the week after Easter off and leave the preaching to the intern. So, here we go again!
Yet, of all the passages I could preach on multiple times, I actually really appreciate that this is the one. No matter how frequently I read it, I always feel like new things are being highlighted for me. Like this year, the piece that really stuck out to me was the question, “where was Thomas?!” If all the disciples are locked in this room for fear that they are going to be persecuted next for being Jesus’ disciples, why isn’t Thomas with them? Was he the one they sent off to run errands? I mean, they had to get food somehow, right? Did Thomas go willingly or was he volunteered to be the one to go on this outing? How this question is answered changes how we understand Thomas in the midst of this story.
And, I honestly connect to Thomas a lot. Throughout history, the church has judged Thomas for his doubting, but literally everyone else got to see Jesus and his scars! They weren’t told that they needed to not see in order to believe. And, then our reading ends with telling about all the signs that Jesus did so that people would truly believe he was the Son of God, signs that people would have seen to believe! So, not only does Thomas miss seeing the Risen Christ, but he has to hear about it from everyone else and then is shamed for wanting to see it for himself. Like I said, this changes too based on if Thomas was gone by choice or if he was sent off to do something he didn’t want to do anyway.
But, who can blame Thomas for his reaction?! Jesus’ resurrection is this new thing; it’s not like there was a common occurrence of those who were dead being raised. Maybe Thomas thought his fellow disciples were playing a prank on him as a way to pass the time. Maybe there was some tension between the disciples. I imagine that there would be! I mean different experiences of grief are already complicated enough, then you add in the fear, and the having been locked in the same room together and there is bound to be some annoyance. If COVID quarantine taught us anything, it’s that even being in the same house as the people we care about can have its annoyances!
Who knows, maybe Thomas was an introvert and just desperately needed time away from everyone else. We don’t know anything about the relationship between Thomas and the other disciples in the time after Jesus’ death. Yet, I’m sure there was some mistrust, especially since they just watched their friend and mentor be publicly executed, led to the cross by one of their other disciples, someone in whom they trusted. How do they know who to trust after that?
Asking questions was also how Thomas was processing his grief. Not only is his beloved teacher dead, but now these people are saying he is alive and just happened to visit while he was away, possibly on an errand that he didn’t even want to be on in the first place! It would be like if I came home one day and Emily said, by the way your grandpa was just here, and you missed him. How do you even respond to that? It seems only natural that Thomas would want proof that this actually happened; until that point, he was likely still without closure around Jesus’ death.
Also, did Thomas know that the other disciples received the Holy Spirit and their sending out orders from Jesus? The story doesn’t tell us if Thomas knew this information but imagine showing up and learning that in addition to seeing the Risen Christ, the other disciples also casually mention that he gave them the Holy Spirit. So sorry, Thomas.
But wait, because when Jesus does show up, Jesus doesn’t even say anything like, “sorry I missed you last time Thomas,” he just starts right out with addressing Thomas’s questions that we don’t know how he even knows. Or is it just assumed that Thomas is going to have these doubts and questions, because that stings a bit too, to know that he would be confused and then shame him anyway. Plus, Jesus shows up to the room full of disciples, who were essentially told that they needed to stop hiding out in fear, who are still there when Jesus returns and yet Thomas is the one that doesn’t have faith? Where are the other disciples’ faith in the Holy Spirit and their call that they just received from Jesus? Why do we hear nothing else about that, because I don’t know about you, but to me it seems like a pretty big deal when the Holy Spirit shows up!
So I really resonate with Thomas because I think I would have similar questions. This is a completely new experience for any of the disciples and they are still wrestling with their fear and grief. And, in addition to shaming Thomas, this story has been used to shame anyone for having doubts about their faith. How is this helpful? To say that we cannot ask questions and wonder about what is happening in Scripture. To question what it is that our religious leaders say. We are already entrusted with a lot of power and authority as clergy, and so much harm has been and continues to be done because people are told that they cannot ask questions or have doubts about the way we do things in the church.
So, I have to say that as much as the church tries to embody the mission of God, and we are guided by the Holy Spirit in doing so, we are still a human institution. So much pain has been caused throughout history because we have forgotten that the church is not God, but we are the people of God called to serve the world. Yet, I have hope for the church because of today’s reading too. Because we are called to embody the same mission that Jesus gives to the disciples when he appears among them, when he shows up to remind them that he didn’t die so that they could be locked away in fear, but that through the power of the Holy Spirit, they are being sent out. Sent out for the sake of the world, to continue God’s mission.
We are not sent out to judge doubt or pretend like we can know absolutely everything about God. Instead, we are sent out to walk alongside one another in our doubt and our questions; to ask the hard questions or cry out in anger and frustration. Those things that make our faith more personal, instead of just memorization and repetition. So how can we be more like Thomas or embrace what Thomas has to teach us? Not only individually, but as a church. After all, if Martin Luther didn’t ask some questions of the Roman Catholic church, our denomination wouldn’t exist as it does today. So sometimes, we need to be unafraid to ask questions, especially when it helps us to more fully be focused on the Risen Christ. I think we can learn a lot by being even a little bit more like Thomas.